101 response to Hey Seph, go out with me
by pleasingXapparel
Summary: 101 of Persephone's responses to Apollo's constant asking. The sarcasm and frustration is evident in most. LAST CHAPTER IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

101 of Persephone's replies to "Hey Seph, go out with me."

**Disclaimer: I do not own the actual idea for this nor do I own Percy Jackson, though I wish I did. Enjoy…**

XxXx

"No, Apollo."

"Why not?"

"So, so many reasons."

XxXx

"I'm _married_ for Zeus's sake!"

"…Your point?"

"Ugh!"

XxXx

"Seph, there's not a word in the dictionary to describe how beautiful you are."

"Oh I can think of a lot of words to describe you right now."

"Is that a good thing? Seph? SEPH! Where are you going?"

"Away from you."

XxXx

"Hey gorgeous, haven't we met before?"

"Sorry, I blocked that painful memory from my mind."

XxXx

"If you were a parking ticket, you'd have FINE written all over you."

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

XxXx

"Hey Seph do you want to go out sometime?"

"No, I'm busy that night."

"I haven't told you which night yet!"

"So? I'll find a way to be busy."

XxXx

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"Don't bother; I'm not single and you wouldn't stand a chance anyway."

"Ouch, that hurt."

XxXx

"Violets are red, roses are blue, sugars are sweet and I LOVE YOU!"

"ROSES are red, VIOLETS are blue, this whole thing's stupid and so are you!"

"…"

XxXx

"Hey Persephone-"

"Sorry, I'll be too busy making out with my husband."

XxXx

"You know, I bet you 20 drachma you won't say yes to me." (_Holds out drachma_)

"You're right." (_Takes it_)

"HEY!"

XxXx

"Persephone-"

"MOTHER! HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!

"CEREALLLLL!"

"AHHH!" (_Runs away_)

XxXx

"Hey baby, what's your sign?"

"Do not enter."

XxXx

"If being hot were a crime, you'd be arrested."

"Apollo, if being ugly was a crime you'd be dead."

XxXx

"Is your name Daisy? Cause I'd plant you right here!"

"You know my name."

"So?"

"Idiot."

XxXx

"Are all men as stupid as you?"

XxXx

"Sorry, I only date guys."

"But you're married."

"To a GUY."

"Touché…"

XxXx

"Do you have a phone? I have to call God and tell him one of his angles is missing."

"No, but you could ask Hermes."

(_facepalm_)

XxXx

"Persephone, wanna hear a poem?"

"Apollo, want to hear a joke? You."

XxXx

"You, me, and a moonlit picnic tonight."

"Sorry, I have plans."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to stab myself in the eyes repeatedly with a fork so I don't have to look at you."

"That's rough…"

"That's life."

XxXx

"Do you have a Band-Aid? I scrapped my knee when I fell for you."

"You're the god of medicine, stupid."

"…"

**Hope you liked it! And feel free to give me some ideas and stuff! R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all for reviewing! XP Luv you all! Oh, and thanks to I-AM-Janus for the first one!**

XxXx

"Hey Seph-"

"My name is not Seph!"

XxXx

"If you looked up the definition of exquisite, your name would be there."

"Your name would be under stupid, arrogant, annoying, irking, frustrating, hair-ripping, fork-stabbing-in-the-eye, jerk, crazy, lunatic, deranged, and moronic!"

"…Fork-stabbing-in-the-eye is not a word in the dictionary."

SLAP!

XxXx

"You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?"

"Aw, you think I'm special!"

(_Facepalm_)

XxXx

"If there was an end of the world, I'd go there for you."

"Oh, but would you stay there?"

XxXx

"Persephone, if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and I together."

"What's the alphabet again?"

"Ugh, nevermind."

XxXx

"_I love my Sephy_

_So much I would die for her_

_Too bad I can't die…"_

"Was that supposed to impress me?"

"Um…yes?"

"You say it's impossible for us to die, but that 'poem' just made me want to feed myself to Cerberus and get ripped apart by all three of his heads."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

XxXx

"Apollo, are you a masochist?"

"Um...no?"

"You don't sound too certain. Let me ask again: ARE YOU A MASOCHIST?"

"No need to yell! And no I'm not."

"Okay then this will hurt."

"Wha-?"

PUNCH! SLAP! KNEE TO GROIN!

"OWWWWWWW!"

"No need to yell Apollo."

XxXx

"Persephone, I bit my lip, could you kiss it for me?"

(_Starts to get really itchy_)

"Um…(scratch) why am (scratch) I so (scratch) itchy?"

(_Dismissively_) "Oh, I just sprouted poison ivy and poison oak around you so that it got on your skin."

"YOU WHAT? (Scratch, scratch)"

"Ha-ha!"

XxXx

"Well, Apollo, don't you look handsome! But, why on Earth do you have red welts all over you?"

(grumble, grumble)

"I daresay, you look as if you have a very bad skin rash!"

_(Apollo_ _stalks away)_

(_Maniacal giggle_)

XxXx

"Seph, if you were a parking ticket, you'd have FINE written all over you!"

"What's a…parking ticket?"

"Oh, you're hopeless."

XxXx

"I started to count every star with a reason I loved you, but I stopped once I got past twenty."

"Why was that?"

"I realized there weren't enough stars."

"Oh, really? I thought it was because you couldn't count that high."

XxXx

"Your body is a temple!"

"You mean like the Temple of Delphi?"

"Um…no. Just a…temple."

"Oh, well that's not very flattering."

"Well, would you rather be called a tent?"

"Yes, because at least then I'd serve a purpose in life."

XxXx

"Persephone, you're so hot you make the sun look cold!"

"So you're saying that you're ugly?"

"Damn, that backfired didn't it?"

"Ya think?"

XxXx

"Hi, Seph."

"Running low on pick-up lines, are we?"

"I'm just not in the mood today."

"Good, now I don't have to slap you!"

XxXx

"You take my breath away, Seph."

"Too bad you can't die from lack of oxygen or else I'd dress like this every day."

XxXx

"Why are you looking at me like that Apollo?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm…something to eat."

"You look so yummy I could eat you right now."

(_backs away_) "Okay…I'm just gonna go…"

XxXx

"If you weren't married, I'd court you."

"Thank goodness I'm married then."

XxXx

"Seph, you're like a marshmallow: Soft, fluffy, and delicious."

"You're like a Now N' Later: Get away now or you'll be in the hospital later."

XxXx

"Hey Seph, listen to this:

_Violets are green, tulips are red_

_I'd love you even if you were dead._"

"How are you the god of poetry?"

"Hey, my poetry is romantic!"

"Yeah, for a funeral. And violets are_ BLUE_ for the last time!"

"Well…what color are tulips?"

"Ugh…"

XxXx

"A B C D E F G, won't you please go out with me?"

"Apollo! What are you doing?"

"I am serenading you."

"Why?"

(_Screeches like a bird_) "I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME! WE'RE A TWISTED FAMILY-"

(_Slams window shut to block out his voice_)

XxXx

"And I was like baby, baby, baby OH! Like baby, baby, baby NO!-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Why? Justin Beiber's one of the most popular singers of his generation!"

"Shut. Up. Apollo."

**Did you like it? I won't add another chapter unless the reviews get to at least 20. So…review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, I'm sorry I demanded reviews in the last chapter. I was just really tired and annoyed with personal stuff so I'm sorry. Some people complained to me and I agree: I hate when authors demand reviews as well. Kinda hypocritical, huh? Sorry my mos beloved reviewers! Here, how bout this: Don't review if you don't want to for this chapter to get back at me, kay? Well…I would appreciate if you DID review but…yeah. Lol**

**Disclaimer: Some of these are from my reviewers. You know who you are. And thank you!**

""Hey Seph, I just washed my chariot with some water imported from the Nile, and it sparkles almost as much as you! Wanna take a spin?"

"...Are you comparing me to a CAR?"

"Um, yes-?"

SLAP!

XxXx

"Hey, Seph, wanna go out with me? You choose where."

"Sure, why not?"

"So, where are we going?"

"It's the place where you belong."

"And where is that, my dear?"

"The rubbish dump."

XxXx

"I love you so much it makes the Universe look small."

"I hate you so much it makes your ego look microscopic."

XxXx

"If your head inflates anymore it'll block out the sun!"

"But I AM the sun."

"Touché…"

XxXx

"I will never go out with yo Apollo."

(_falls to the ground_) "You've killed me Seph! I am dead!"

"Just like your dignity."

XxXx

"Ask Thalia."

"I would but she's with the Hunters."

"Oh, so I'm your second choice, huh?"

"Wait…what?"

"Oh, I see how it is!" _(Stalks away in tears)_

(_Blinks in disbelief_) "I don't get it! One minute she hates me and the next she's bawling over how she's second place!"

…

"Talk about PMS."

XxXx

"Give me one legitimate reason why you won't go out with me!"

"You're stupid, you're ignorant, you're arrogant, you've got an ego the size of Olympus, you don't know how to treat a woman and you are so sexist!"

"How am I sexist?"

"You…you just…all the time…and…uh…you…UGH!"

"Seph? Wait, where are you going? You still haven't answered my question!"

XxXx

"Persephone, how art thou this fine morn?"

"Um…why are you holding…are those…roses? And what's with the olden talk?"

"You see, my lovely flower, I have cometh to ask of you to accompany me on a midnight stroll through the woods."

"Why…?"

"Why would one not want to spend time in the company of a beautiful woman?"

(_Blush_) "Oh! Why that is so incredibly…kind and…strange of you Apollo. Yes, I will accompany you tonight."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh, cool, now I don't have to talk in that ridiculous accent anymore. Phew, what a relief!"

…

"Seph?"

"What did you say?"

"Um…why are you looking at me like that? Hey, c'mon now, what's wrong? I'm sure we can talk this-"

PUNCH!

XxXx

"Hey Persephone, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing."

"Are you…crying?"

"N-no. Go away A-Apollo, I d-don't want to t-talk to y-you!"

"What's wrong, Seph?"

"YOU!"

"What?"

"You are what' wrong with me! YOU ALWAYS ANNOY ME AND IT GETS SO IRRITATING! I MEAN, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR GO OUT WITH YOU? JUST. LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"

"…So, I'm going to take it that you're NOT okay?"

SLAP!

**Okay, so that's it for right now. Give me some ideas please! Lol And…the review buttn is getting a little lonely… **


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated. I've just been super busy with school and stuff but I'll try to do my best. And thank you all for the ideas! I think I have 51 of these responses so far….IDK**

XxXx

(walks up with armor) "Hey, Seph. You, me, Italian bistro?"

"What's with the armor...?"

"So that you don't hit me."

(Gasps) "Are you implying that I'm a sadist?"

SLAP

XxXx

"You know what? I think I'll visit Hades."

"I thought you hated Hades?"

"I do."

"Then why are you going to visit him?"

"Because you make Hades look like the best husband a woman could ever have."

"Hey!"

XxXx

"Persephone-"

"I can't talk to you now, I'm on the phone."

"With whom?"

"My HUSBAND!"

XxXx

"Persephone!"

"What, Apollo?"

"I brought you this!" (_Holds out strange flower_)

"Apollo," (_Glares_) "That's a VENUS FLYTRAP YOU IDIOT!"

"A what?"

"That is one of my least favorite flowers in the whole world!"

"But…I thought you liked all flowers?"

BACKHANDED SLAP!

XxXx

"So, Seph-"

"Ugh, you again?"

"You were in my dreams last night, you know."

"And I should care why, you creep?"

"I'm thinking of you even when I'm dead to the world…"

"Okay, that's just weird."

"No it's not, my love…I'm just always thinking of you…"

"Wow, you are such a stalker sometimes." (_walks away_)

"Aphrodite! You told me this time it would work!"

(_Aphrodite comes out from behind random bushes_) "Yes, and it would've worked too if you hadn't sounded like such a creeper!"

"Hey!"

XxXx

"Apollo, go away."

"Only if you come with me."

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Haha-no."

-.-

XxXx

"You know you love me, Seph!"

"Ha, you're funny."

XxXx

"If you never ask me again, I'll answer yes."

XxXx

"You must be a book, because I'm checking you out!"

"Since when do you read?"

XxXx

"Ah, Seph! Beauty at its finest!"

"Oh, Apollo! Ugly at its best!"

XxXx

SLAP!

"Ow, what was that for?"

"I just really wanted to hit you."

XxXx

"I know you want me, Persephone."

"Wow, egotistical much?"

XxXx

"I can see into the future, Seph."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. And I see you falling in love with me."

"Hmm…hey Apollo, do you see yourself getting hit by me in the near or distant future?"

"um…no."

WHACK!

"Huh, guess you can't prophesize everything."

XxXx

"MY HEART'S A STEREO, IT BEATS FOR YOU SO LISTEN CLOSE-"

"AAAHH!" (_Covers ears_) "STOP IT!"

"Why? I thought you liked that song."

"NOT WHEN YOU'RE SINGING IT!"

"Oh, that's just cruel."

"What? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! MY EARDRUMS JUST BURST!"

**That's all for now!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ah, I have reached 65! …I think. Oh well, what difference does one of two make? Thank you people for the ideas and stuff! I luv you all so much! ^.^ Enjoy…**

XxXx

"Hey Seph, how 'bout you join me for dinner?"

"How about you join ME for dinner, I happen to be eating with my husband and he'd just love to meet the guy who's trying to hit on me."

"Umm...Nevermind."

XxXx

"You look so hot you belong..."

"Uh-huh? Please continue."

"IN THE FIELDS OF PUNISHMENT! "

(_throws Apollo into fiery pit of sulfur_)

XxXx

"Hey, Seph, can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

"Apollo, I hate to burst your little bubble, BUT SANTA ISN'T REAL."

"Wh-what! Of course he is! YOU LIE!"

XxXx

"I think there's something wrong with my eyes, because I can't take them off you."

"I think there's something wrong with your BRAIN, Apollo. Did you honestly think that'd one would work?"

"Kinda..."

XxXx

"Do I know you? 'Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend."

SLAP!

XxXx

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"

"I'm just gonna…go." (_Walks quickly away_)

XxXx

"You're so hot, you should go in the water. 'Cause you're on fire!"

"Wha-?"

(_Throws Persephone into the river_)

"APOLLO!"

XxXx

"If you were a hamburger at McDonald's, you'd be the main course. The McGorgeous burger."

"Are you comparing me to a greasy, thick, fattening fast food restaurant?"

"Um…no?"

SLAP!

XxXx

"I once thought nothing could be perfect and then you came along."

"I once thought no one could be more stupid than you and I've yet to be proven wrong."

XxXx

"Seph, give me five reasons why you won't go out with me!"

"I'll give you five seconds to get 100 miles away from me before I beat you up."

"Ha, you're funny Seph."

"Five."

"Um…Seph?"

""Four."

"Hey now…c'mon, we can work this out!"

"Three."

"okay I'll see you around I guess!"

XxXx

"Are you just naturally this stupid?"

XxXx

"Persephone-"

"NO APOLLO!"

XxXx

"Hey, babe-"

"I have Hades on speed dial, Apollo."

XxXx

"Seph, I looked at that flower you're planting and thought 'wow, nothing could be more beautiful!' And then I looked up and saw you."

(_Holds up plant in her hand_) "Apollo, this is a weed, not a flower."

"…What's the difference?"

(_Facepalm_)

XxXx

"Hey Seph, check this out!" (_Flexes bicep_)

(_Squints_) "…What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"M-my muscles!"

"Um…where are they?"

"Ugh…nevermind."

XxXx

"Apollo, go away."

"Hold on, hun. I have a question for you."

"What is it?"

"Okay, would you rather go out with me on one date or go out with me on two dates?"

"I choose death."

"B-but…that wasn't an option!"

"Hey now, you never said that HUN." (_smirks and walks away_)

**81 of these! Ah...only 20 more to go! R&R**


	6. Ah, the end So sad

**HELLO HELLO! I am so sorry to say that this will be the last chapter for this story. I apologize immensely but I'm running out of comebacks and I'm almost to 101. There will probably be a few extra but…aw well. Thank you all who reviewed! You have no idea how much you guys have helped me out.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJatO. Duh…if you think that, you must be as stupid as Apollo. (No offense dad. (Yeah, Apollo's my dad.))**

XxXx

"Hey, Seph, do you need a mortician?

"Ok, I'll bite. Why?"

"Because you're drop dead gorgeous!

"You're right!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'd better go see my HUSBAND, the lord of the DEAD!"

-.- "I should've seen that coming…"

XxXx

"Hey Seph-"

"Hold it! I know where this is headed: You'll try to ask me out me out, I'll say no, you'll say something stupid, and then I'll slap you."

"How do you figure the whole slappity-slap thing?"

SLAP!

XxXx

"¡Ah, Seph, mi amor! Cómo brillarán como el sol."

"Apuesto a que no puede entender lo que estoy diciendo."

"Wait…what?"

"Exactly."

XxXx

"You're so sweet, you give me cavities!"

"Okay then, let me pull them all out using these really sharp and pointy saws."

"Um…no, I'm good."

"Thought so."

XxXx

"I must've died and gone to Heaven because you're an angel!"

"No, you'd go to the Underworld, Apollo."

-.-

XxXx

"Happy Valentine's Day, Persephone!"

"It was until you showed up and ruined it."

XxXx

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she."

"Are you quoting…Shakespeare?"

"Yeah. My best son in my opinion."

"Shakespeare was your son?"

"Yep! Impressive, no?"

"I hate Shakespeare, Apollo."

"...Oh."

XxXx

"Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart!"

"I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the god of thieves is Hermes."

(_Facepalm_)

XxXx

"Seph got out with me."

"See that's the thing: you say it as a command instead of a question!"

"Would you say yes if I asked it in the form of a question?"

"Ha, no."

-.-

XxXx

"APOLLO!"

…

"I know you're there you idiot."

(_Apollo emerges from behind a tree_) "Seph! What a pleasant surprise! Are you following me?"

SLAP!

"...I swear, if you keep slapping me I'll have to get my left cheek removed!" .

SLAP!

"There, get the other removed as well. You'll look so much better without it."

XxXx

"Persephone-"

(_raises hand to slap Apollo_)

"WAIT! Hold up for a sec."

-. - "What Apollo?"

"Um…uh…"

"I'm WAITING!"

"ILOVEYOU!"

"What…?"

"I…love…you."

0.0

"Seph? Earth to Persephone! Come in Sephy!"

SLAP! SLAP! SLAPITY-SLAP-SLAP!

XxXx

"Are you a sadist, Seph?"

PUNCH!

"Maybe so, Apollo."

KICK!

(_cackles madly_)

XxXx

"Hey Seph."

"Why's you're eye black dude?"

"That's from you! Remember yesterday?"

"Right, right…heehee…"

XxXx

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN SEPH!"

"Apollo, take off that mask, it's freaking me out."

"I-I'm not wearing a mask…"

"Oh. So that's how your face NORMALLY looks?"

XxXx

"Apollo, I'll go out with you on one condition."

"Name it babe!"

"You go tell Hades that you're in love with his wife. If you make it out alive, I'll go out with you."

"Um…gosh…I-I don't think so Seph. I'm pretty sure your husband will send me to the Field of Punishment if I do."

"Aw well. Your loss." (_smirks and saunters away_)

"Damn me and my wimpy-ness."

XxXx

"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"

"No, it's hot in here cause I walked in."

"Exactly what I was thinking Seph!"

(_facepalm_)

XxXx

"Apollo, if you come one step closer, I'll tell Demeter you're stalking me 24/7!"

"But…I am."

"EW!" (_throws shoe at him)_

XxXx

"PLEASE Persephone! I'll do _anything_!"

"Go die in a hole."

"I would if I could! Just for you!"

0.o

XxXx

"You're the reason I wake up every morning."

"Are you sure? I thought it was because you have to pull your sun chariot over the sky to raise the sun so all of the mortals don't die from lack of heat and end up turning into cannibals and praying for mercy and bowing down at our feet, kissing the ground we walk on."

"That's a…pretty intense picture you painted there…"

XxXx

"POLAR BEAR KILLER!"

"What?"

"GLOBAL WARMING SUCKS YOU HYPOCRITE!"

-.-

XxXx

"Seph."

"Apollo."

"Please."

"No."

XxXx

"Hey Seph, go out with me."

…

"Please?"

"…Maybe."

**TA-DA! Ah, I am so sad to see this end! (Starts dramatically crying) But, I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! THANK YOU ALL!**

**Oh, and here's the translation from the Spanish one:**

"Ah, Seph, my love! How you shine just like the sun!"

"I bet you can't understand what I'm saying right now."

"Wait…what?"

"Exactly."

;) R&R


End file.
